One of the biggest suspicions we have when arriving at a new job is that the work environment is good and pleasant. We want to feel comfortable, be liked by our colleagues and show the boss that we have adapted well to the work environment.
United Nations addeco studio shows that a good atmosphere at work improves productivity and engagement in workers. It is evident that it is beneficial for the company, but also for the employees: 8-hour days force us to be surrounded by the same people all day, so a good relationship with the environment will add value to the work.
That the works are made in our ‘second home’ It may sound like an invention of capitalism, but it is a reality. And for this reason, it is practically impossible not to create bonds of friendship with colleagues. Nir Bashan, psychologist specializing in creativity, has studied the process of making friends at work and… has come to the conclusion that it is better not to do it.
According to Bashan it may be worth it to make better career decisions instead of being carried away by office gossip. The expert points out that merely professional relationships at work can not only lead to a greater sense of well-beingbut you can also make yourself happier at work.
But Bashan goes further, and gives three keys to reinforce the idea that it is not good Falling into the trap of making friends at work:
1. Avoid drama
Many of us have seen a group of friends from work agree to influence company policy in one way or another or to delay meetings in order to meet their own agenda, to name just two examples. But the psychologist explains that, in the long run, what ends up happening is that people get caught up in that conspiratorial spiral and end up hating their job. In addition, it ends up burning and he is disappointed when his so-called friends do not stand up for them in a meeting.
Envy and comparisons also arise. «Carlos got promoted last year and he does a lot less than me! What’s going on?» Or: «My boss is less qualified than me, why am I not the one who advances?» Inevitably, this leads to trying make alliances with work friends to push a favorable narrative about ussomething that almost always implodes. According to the expert, we must avoid these messes, often tempting, that do not bring us anything. Instead, we must focus on our work. «This is the surefire way to get ahead. It may take a while, but in the long run it’s the only viable option for long-term sustainable growth,» Bashan says.
2. Keep boundaries clear
True friends are people with whom you can be yourself and with which you can show yourself as you are, without the need for touch-ups. They are people with whom they have developed a deep relationship over time, which is mutual and flows in two directions. You are there for them and they are there for you. Trust is created.
At work, this relationship becomes very, Too complex. Is he a real friend or does he want something from me that will benefit him? Who can I really trust at work and what happens if my trust is violated? Is my boss really my friend, or is he just trying to get me to work harder, longer, or faster?
if we keep some clear boundaries at workwe will never fall into the trap of worrying about who you trust and who has our best interests in mind.
People also tend to confuse fellow students I work with the family falling into the trap of having a «work mom,» «work dad,» or even a «work husband» or «work wife.»
Basher explains that this can lead to a number of disastrous resultsSince the family is not the same as work and confusing the two has lasting ramifications that can stifle career success and lead to unethical behavior. Keeping boundaries clear and working life separate from private will help alleviate this possible failure already produced in what really matters: work.
3. Ten different expectations
The main difference between a professional relationship at work and a personal friendship at work is our expectations. we usually wait many of our friends. our professional relations are governed by very different expectations, much more moderate and limited. They consist of mutual respect, less pessimism and a willingness to collaborate effectively to move projects forward. But they don’t (and shouldn’t) include sharing characteristics of your dreams and aspirations or where you plan to meet the love of your life.